I decided to be a nice guy today and take my Redhead’s car to the Honda Dealership for its first oil change and a tire rotation. It is her first new car, and the broad’s first time buying a car by herself, but she utilized The Studly Way and got herself a better deal than her parents got on the same model car, despite the Civic bought by her parents (who insisted my ladyfriend bring them to assist her in buying her car) having less bells and whistles than my ladyfriend’s new vehicle. A fine moment for Redhead and a pure joy to watch, let me testify right quick (if you like watching hot women haggle anyway, or really watch hot women just do anything). With the new car, she got a free oil change, or maybe it was two or three, but with her busy work schedule and being a single mother on top of that, I volunteered taking the automobile into the service station when the car’s computer began informating her that maintenance was due soon.
Off topic, but the level of amazing the 2018 Honda Civic hits is as amazing as it would be for postal workers to get air conditioning in their trucks. She literally can drive around, on the freeway at high speed even, with no hands on the wheel and the damned thing just drives itself. Turns and all! If this is what a 2018 Honda Civic can do, I can’t wait to see what a 2024 Jaguar is capable of. Especially for the price though, Honda is where its at.
(Don’t get reckless on my sayso however; she always keeps her hands hovering above the steering wheel for safety’s sake and I demand/suggest you do the same)
I’m a firm believer that you get what you want from any situation, and I took sitting in this waiting room as no exception. I overheard a lot while here, and while originally I was working on The Hot Witch article, was inspired to document some of what I witnessed at a random Honda service station in Pensacola, Florida.
In many ways, social media is becoming/has become a breeding ground for what I’m coining as “Speed Superiority”. I stole the name from speed dating, since white people steal from already existing cultures apparently. People, they flip through their social media walls nowadays, their Twitters and Facebooks and Instagrams and Tumblrs, and have one of three reactions to nearly every post they see. In fact, I’ll one up myself by claiming they go out of their way to look for posts which illict one of these three reactions. A hearty, well deserved laugh (regardless if the source is clean/dirty/politics/etc), a feeling of superiority formed by rage from an opposing belief/ideology/action or cause, and lastly a feeling of superiority caused by agreeing with a belief/action/ideology or cause. Does it mess with your OCD that I didn’t list those in the same order?
Since I’ve been here, I saw a morbidly obese couple doing just that. Now, I know fat people can often be judgemental (don’t call me a fat shamer weightist, people unhappy with themselves often resort to not exercising/poor diet lifestyles which obviously makes them fat, and people unhappy with themselves judge other folk quite often, to redirect their hatred outwards instead of internally, and if you don’t agree with those realities I don’t know what to say to you) but here in America, we are a fat nation, so the actions of the obese aren’t necessiarly a minoirty. The only guy or gal in good shape at this dealership (myself and a few employees excluded) was the Indian (dot, not feather) guy people kept giving dirty looks to. More on that later. Also an interesting observation, a skinny couple doing the exact same thing which I am about to describe was present at the sandwich shop I stopped in to grab a snack at afterwards. The only difference was that this thin man and his woman, they were far lefties; best arguement for gun control I’ve ever heard (/sarcasm).
She was one of those girls who reads every social media post/meme/video description aloud, mixed in with her own commentary on the content of course. Her boyfriend (maybe husband) seemed entertained enough, so I’m not sure if he was a simpleton or a master actor, but through their body language I could tell the assorted old, fat, and old fat people were doing their best to ignore what could have been Sam Kinison’s daughter, her crassness and volume more being more than reminiscent. Pro Trump posts were getting her beaming approval, anti illegal alien posts and anti Muslim posts as well. She bashed a post about Obama momentairly, and even reveled in glee at a post comparing Hillary to Hitler. For the record, comparing people who haven’t committed mass murder to Hitler is dumb to me.
To exit the political sphere, she also showed her approval for that upcoming Mark Wahlberg movie that my inner fanboy is incredibly butthurt about (Iko Uwais deserves so much better than a fucking Marky Mark movie), Green Day, and some GTA 5 video (see, video games aren’t just for boys!). Regardless of her poor taste in punk music, this woman clearly was a prime example of someone who, as a(n) hobby/time killer/emotionally fulfilling activity, enjoys “Speed Superiority”. A more in depth analysis to the new, socially destructive coming soon, but for now let’s move on.
That Indian guy, that poor Indian guy. I’ll be the first to admit that the culture, both modern day and historically speaking, of India isn’t my favorite. The “untouchable caste” phenomenon is more disgusting to me than microwave gas station hamburgers to me, and I’m both a foodie and a misanthrope. I also detest musicals. However, I try not to be a jerk and let my prejudice show when I meet Indian people, as it is not as if there is something wrong genetically with those humans, it’s just their culture is awful. I’m pretty sure I can say the same thing for my culture, both nationalisticly and ethnically. The words “pretty sure” are a comedic underselling of how abhorrent I find the culture’s of my peoples, if you didn’t catch that obvious thing I did. For whatever reason, this guy was getting constant dirty looks from the other patrons of this Honda dealership. Even the employee’s didn’t seem quite as warm when talking to him, although they most certainly were polite. That obese couple I mentioned earlier, they were extra loud when discussing their hatred for muslims, and made a point to stare at the guy. White and black people, who were interacting with each other with absolutely no problems, giving each other no looks of hate, couldn’t stand the Indian guy. Admittingly, he did have snobby mannerisms and was dressed like he was going to a Revenge of the Nerds themed party after getting his car worked on. I’m totally assuming they mistook him for a muslim, but who knows. Maybe the man made a scene earlier? Maybe they just didn’t like the way he was dressed? I’ve been judged by large groups of people for my dress before, who knows. It was interesting to watch Honda’s Most Hated though, and the juxtaposition between the way everyone was treated and the rude looks, stares, words and tones of voice directed towards the lone Indian man.
I didn’t indulge, but free soda pop (oddly, all diet varieties except for Sprite) and small bags of chips sat on a large countertop near a sink, plastic cups, a water machine and a Keurig. Like myself, I noticed a few people staring at them, seemingly debating with themselves on whether or not to feast on some free sugar and/or fried foods. I wonder if, like myself, they were struggling to keep up with a diet, or if they were just afraid of being judged as a fatass by the rest of us waiting for our automobiles.
My time spent at the service dept at the Pensacola Honda dealership taught me that we haven’t really grown much as a species. Idiocracy becomes increasingly prophetic by the day. We’re fat, judgemental, whiney, conceited, hateful and, this might be more of a personal opinion, but most of us have no sense of style either [/catty].