How to Substitute a “First Kiss” with a “First Slap”

DISCLAIMER: THIS ISN’T ONLY A RISKY MOVE, THIS IS A POSSIBLE ASSAULT AND/OR SEXUAL ASSAULT CHARGE. PLEASE DO NOT USE THIS MANEUVER UNLESS YOU ARE 100% POSITIVE THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE WITH IS INTERESTED IN SUCH TREATMENT. PLEASE FOLLOW ALL GUIDELINES WITHIN BUT EVEN THEN, NOTHING IS GUARANTEED AND YOU ARE USING ANY/ALL INFORMATION CONTAINED HEREIN AT YOUR OWN RISK – Management

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Well then boys and girls, now that we got that out of the way, I’m going to inform you interested parties, you deviant minds, you cream of the crop when it comes to reading bizarre blog postings online, how to substitute a boring old “first kiss” with an exciting and possibly incarcerating “first slap”. I’m also going to say that these are the techniques that I’ve used to successfully complete this method of initiating sexual intercourse, but as there are many ways to skin a cat, you’re going to have to put your own personal spin on this for it to work properly. If the concept of making another’s technique your own seems scary or new to you, this is not the technique for you yet.

I’ll admit, even wasn’t studly enough to have this concept originate inside my own mind. There’s an old film, Charlie Varrick, where Walter Matthau takes part in a bank-job gone wrong and is on the run from both the police and a mob enforcer, played by the great Joe Don Baker. Near the end of the film, Joe Don implements a “first slap” sexual initiation on a sexy female forger.  Being an impressionable teenager watching an exciting motion picture, I was perplexed as to whether or not something of this magnitude was even possible, or if what I had just witnessed was yet another example of cinema having fun with its story-telling. Like the keyboardist from Dragon Sound talking about finding his father, I knew one day I would have to find out.

First impressions are an important part in any introduction. Multiply that by a thousand if you want to get away with some shenanigans like this ridiculous and obscene move. The tricky part, for me anyway, in using a “first slap” as opposed to a “first kiss” is one’s inability to humanize their “prey” upon first meeting them. And what I mean by that is, you are going to have to seem as if this person you intend to bed is inferior to you in every way, shape and form. You don’t have to be a jerk about it, in fact, if you do, it will most likely have the opposite effect on what you desire; alpha people aren’t necessarily nice, but they’re not rude either, unless they have to be. If this concept is confusing to you (don’t feel dumb as it is rather complex) you can click HERE to read our article on 5 ways to not seem interested when you actually are. Seriously, go read it now and then come back and finish this article if you’ve got any questions on how to achieve this attitude.

Seeming only remotely interested in your “prey” is only half the game plan here, as the disinterested route is a tactic that is commonly used to achieve any number of desired effects in a new person. To attain the elusive “first slap”, you are going to want to seem dangerous. I don’t mean dangerous as in you might be mugging jogging women at night in the local park, but dangerous as in you aren’t afraid to grab what you want by the throat, even when you could have just patted it on the shoulder. Your language is going to be just as important as your body language in proving this to your “prey”; looking people in the eye, standing tall with good posture, and clearly working what you want, when you want it, unafraid of consequence IS A MUST here. If you falter for even one moment, watch their horniness for you dry up like a desert. Your “prey” needs to see that you straddle the fence between aggressive and assertive. When the slap does occur, your “prey” is going to want to know that your strikes are a calm, measured decision, even if made in (and from) the heat of passion. If too much emotion goes into the strike, a person is far more likely to lose confidence that they aren’t going to be hurt in some way, whether it be by your inexperience or you just being a psycho. People don’t want to be sexually assaulted by a psychotic nutcase with no control over himself; people do want to succumb to the sexual will of a dominant superior being. If this isn’t your first BBQ with seduction, you can see why displaying a calm yet forceful manner is of the utmost importance. Show your “prey” what you’ll be like sexually by exhibiting to them that your demeanor is always unchanging.

Obviously, flirting is a major part of any seduction, but it is played differently when our goal is to achieve a “first slap”. Within the confines of the playfulness of flirting, make sure your “prey” knows you like to hurt your lovers, although you would never hurt a lover. You can’t just blurt this out in an uncivilized and rushed manner of course. Randomly telling a person that you’d like to rough them up sexually can be jarring, so be sure to fit that information in while being humorous. If flirting isn’t your strong suit, go practice before attempting a “first slap” maneuver. Click HERE for a helpful list of places where you can go to practice flirting without worrying about any failures following you around after the fact. If you haven’t practiced the art of flirting enough to be able to figure out what to say so a person knows you’re a sexual deviant and still wants to see you again, you aren’t ready to read someone’s eyes and know that they indeed want a “first slap”. I really can not stress enough just how dangerous this move can be, both for the psychological well being of your “prey” and for yourself (if you don’t like going to jail/prison).

IMPORTANT DISTINCTION: If you see your “prey” has any sort of merchandise which would indicate that they too are apart of this lifestyle, such as whips, chains, handcuffs, 50 Shades of Grey, etc. etc. than you can skip the flirting and make a matter of factly comment about whatever it is you’ve noticed which would suggest they’d enjoy this sort of sexual experience. 

So, you’ve flirted, maybe in person, maybe over some dating app or social media, and they know what you want to do to them by your suggestive behavior. Great, but now what? Depending on how you met the person of interest, there are a few ways to proceed. If you met them in person, you’re going to have to not immediately ask the person out. Besides not wanting to appear as if you get carried away in the moment, it is ideal to tease the concept with them whenever you see them (whether it be at work, school social functions, etc) and let them ask you, but if they themselves are playing hard to get, don’t be afraid to nonchalantly ask them out on a casual date after you two have gotten to know each other long enough. I suggest waiting a week to a month before making a move and asking them to a function, and while a week is really rushing things, but isn’t inconceivable to pull off. The more time you wait however, the more anticipation will build up within your “prey”. I’ve waited as long as six months before accepting an invite from a girl before who I had on my list of girls I could possibly pull this off with, although she was a co-worker who worked an opposing shift whom I rarely saw.

A dating app/social media is much easier in this regard, as those humans know exactly what they are looking for and aren’t afraid to hide it, while a person you have regular social interactions with (due to the world around you) has to play more coy, lest he/she seem like a whore with no standards. With these internet people, play it by ear, and see them when it is convenient. Don’t be afraid to rush a date in under a week. If you’re familiar with internet dating, you know the signs of when a girl wants to meet/when to send for and ask for nudes/etc. If you’re not familiar with internet dating, good for you, keep hitting on people in the real world, it is far more studly. Regardless of wherever you met the lucky lady/lad/transperson you intend to seduce, the rules of the first date are pretty much the same.

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There is no need for fancy clothes, decent bottles of wine or four to five star restaurants here, no Sir (or Ma’am) E. Bob. Someplace casual, but quiet, is where you want to meet up. Be sure to meet there, you’ll want them having their own transportation for reasons beyond them being able to leave if you creep them out. Other people should be present so your “prey” doesn’t ever feel as if they are trapped, but you don’t want a crowded restaurant where your perverse conversations are going to be overheard. Do your normal get to know a person on a first date schtick, but be sure to work in plenty of flirting of a violent nature. You are going to want to ask them to tell you stories, and ask them, in as great of detail as possible, about what they like sexually. If they are shy or bashful, do not be afraid to lead the conversation, as many will want to reveal this stuff to you, but won’t divulge their kinks without you prying. When they do admit to enjoy being roughed up during intercourse, laugh in a condescending manner, and tell them you’re not sure they could handle you. Say only a few have enjoyed your rougher side, because they truly enjoyed the lifestyle and the pain. Mock those who talk about sex rougher than what they truly like, make it be known you’ve met many pretenders and you find that childish mentality beyond aggravating. Your partner will either get intimidated and scared, which means they weren’t good “prey” to begin with, or they will become incredibly aroused and do their absolute best to prove you wrong.

You’ll also want to tell stories about your previous escapades, and if you don’t have any, make some up. You’re going to want to be descriptive and brutal here. Stuff you’ve seen in pornography but think people in real life don’t actually enjoy, well, some people like those things. I personally talk about throat fucking, bondage, kidney punching during intercourse, and/or choking til they being to lose consciousness. Well, I talk about more, but if we’re ever on a date together and I want to pull this move on you, I gotta leave some surprise.

And that’s pretty much the extent of your strategy until you leave the place together; be funny, be assertive, be confident, and be freaky. Encourage them to share things with you that they’d normally not share. When I talk about how much rougher I am than the average guy who pretends he gets rough with women (trust me, a lot of people find those who say they get rough don’t get rough enough), I make sure to mention I can tell the idea of that turns them on. I’ll say something about seeing it in their eyes, which leads me to another important point.

The better you are at reading people the easier this is going to be to pull off, as being able to tell your “prey” psychological and sexual truths about themselves that they haven’t revealed is going to further put them into a mindset where they will want you to violently take them sexually. Being superior to someone isn’t just having good posture, making eye contact and knowing how to display confidence. An alpha person can read the room around him/her, an alpha can read your eyes and smell your fears. Your “prey” will know this, and if you can’t designate yourself as alpha, they will only be giving themselves to you if they are a bored slut.

When leaving, tell your “prey” that they shouldn’t get into your car, and instead should take theirs home, because they “probably aren’t safe with you”. This will further excite them, and they’ll insist on getting in your car. Once they are in, you are pretty much good to go. Back out of the parking lot and drive a little bit before engaging them. Put on a song you like on your stereo, pay attention to the other cars on the road, and ignore them momentarily. Then, out of nowhere, slap them across the face. Not too hard, but definitely not too soft. Too hard can scare a person, while too soft will make them think you’re a wimp and they’ll get turned off. I usually accompany mine with a hearty “unzip my pants and suck my…”, well, you can imagine how I finish that sentence.

I’d love to hear about all your experiences with similar such situations, or your techniques to be able to get away with similar perversions. Shout me a holla on social media (@bongstudly) or leave me a comment here. Again, be careful if you try this, and if things go terribly wrong, don’t blame me in court. I warned you, didn’t I?

For a comedic retelling of one of my adventures in slapping, click here.
If life isn’t going your way, whether it be your professional, personal or love life, click here to learn about how you can fix yourself, and those you care about around you. 

 

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