5 Ways to Appear NOT Interested (When You Actually Are)

You keep hearing that nice guys finish last, and you just can’t figure out what that means while you’re sitting at home alone on Saturday nights. You keep hearing women like jerks, but when you don’t pay attention to her, she gets upset and stops talking to you. And while the vast majority of my personal experience is being a man going after women, these techniques will work for lesbians, gay men, women trying to get guys, and on that weirdo who lives down the hall that doesn’t identify as anything that is an actual gender or sexuality, so go for it (Shuya!).


  1. Busy Bee’s Get Sweet Flowers!
    When contemplating potential lovers/mates/dates/etc, people judge many factors. Looks, finance, personality, style, musical taste and more can help individuals decide with whom to bang. One particular trait that people find attractive though is someone who is busy. A person always working towards their goals, and making steps to complete said goals (or at least give the impression that said goals are being accomplished) is almost always going to be sexier than a lazy person, or an individual who runs around like a chicken with their head cut off yet never gets anything done. So, even if you don’t have anything going on, feign in! And for those of you fortunate enough to be blessed with a busy schedule, just talk about it. There is one move I like a lot, where in the middle of a story you can tell they are excited to tell you, interrupt them to say they’ll have to finish this story later, you’re bummed out but you gotta get back to work. Stress not being able to wait to hear the story later; they will be thinking about finishing their social interaction with you in the back of their mind as they go on about the rest of the day and encounter other potential suitors (A.K.A. competition). In addition to that, they’ll know that there are other things in your life more important than them, and if they want to compete, they better go that extra mile or get left in the dust.
  2. Texting Response TimesThis might seem bizarre (because it is), but if you reply to a text too soon, even if the text is of a casual nature, it can make you seem too eager to engage with the person, which, for some reason I don’t fully comprehend except for the fact us humans are insane, can be a major turn off. Maybe it points to desperation, or maybe it is just our natural lust for a busy schedule, but if you constantly give an immediate response to text messages, DM’s, or anything other such word based communication, you’re going to appear a lame. Even if you literally have nothing better to do than stare at the screen of your phone, spend a little time browsing social media or this website to kill a little time before replying. Bonus tip: never send any “goodbye” “good night” “see you later” type texts, just stop sending the person messages until the next time you have actual information to convey.
    adolescent adult beautiful blur
    Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com


  3. Compare Them to Other People
    So this one is a little messed up, but then again, so is the concept of this article, so oh well. Take something about a person they are obviously proud of, from their career to an athletic accomplishment to even the clothing on their body, and then mention someone else who did something either almost as impressive, equally impressive, or when you really want to hammer home the point they need to try harder to impress you, even more impressive as they did. Your demeaning utterance can be as subtle as “I see a lot of girls wearing those types of skirts lately, it’s a really sexy look” to more direct like “Forget the Rockies, my sister dated a guy who scaled Everest. Now that must have been intense!”, but never let the person feel as if their feat will impress you even in the slightest. Don’t necessarily laugh at their accomplishment, and definitely allude to it’s difficulty, but make sure it is clear your standards for people are so high, what might impress a typical person is just worthy of a yawn to you.
  4. Pretend to Forget a Story, Then Suddenly Remember!The only real important thing to remember with this maneuver is the severity of the story in which you’ll “forget”. Do NOT forget something important, like how your “prey’s” father died, or why they are deathly afraid of clowns. This could send you over the edge from “possibly interested” to “complete jerk” right quick, so instead look for something in the ballpark of “why their sister hates lobster” as opposed to “how their sister lost her leg.” But when they mention something (minor) in which they expected you to have remembered, play dumb like an O.G. talking to police. They’ll get slightly flustered, and try to remind you, but don’t remember yet! Make them try to remind you in a few ways, before having something snap in your brain which triggers your memory. Then finish their story for them, telling them what a charming and entertaining tale it was. Not only will this show them who’s boss, it will remind them that many an important detail goes through your brain, and things of little significance aren’t at the front of your brain.

    broken heart love sad
    Photo by burak kostak on Pexels.com
  5. Which One Are You Again?
    This move is similar to number four, so don’t use the two strategies at around the same time, unless you want to risk seeming like too big of a douche to deal with. In our last technique, we learned to forget their story, remember it halfway (or so) through, then finish it for them. In this variation, you are going to recall to our “prey” a story which they were not apart of in reality, yet you are going to claim that is how we remember it. Insist over and over, until you’ve exhausted all hope that they were joined with you for this memory. I like to add a little “Well, I must have been thinking about you a lot that day I guess” after giving in to them telling me they were not there for whatever occasion I was sharing; this gives them both the impression that they might be the apple of your eye, but then again, you might also just be a busy guy who does a lot of things and the older we get, the harder the details are to keep straight.Well, that’s it. Although it is by no means a complete list, I hope this was useful to you, and if it isn’t, I hope you gain the courage to go out and talk to more people are you attracted to.

If life isn’t going your way, whether it be your professional, personal or love life, click here to learn about how you can fix yourself, and those you care about around you. 


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